This Single Dads Life. The Life And Mind Of A Single Father And His Three Boys.

The Ketchup Diaries...

Written by GTK31

Monday, 10 November 2008 19:02

If your kids are anything like mine they have an incurable addiction to ketchup. Ok, well they have an addiction ketchup, video games, sugar, waffles, skateboarding, hiding socks under their beds and not wiping their butts good enough ensuring their father will never buy them any color of underwear other than black. Yes, my boys are as gross as they are cute. And, regardless of the type of food this single dad serves up for dinner you can bet ketchup is the condiment of choice.

From grilled chicken to quesadillas to pasta, my boys have no boundaries when it comes to the many foods they decide to drown in this red concoction of tomatoes, sodium and water. My mother will place her right hand on a Bible and swear in front of a jury of twelve that as a young man I would go so far as to dip lobster in ketchup and the addiction my boys have is hereditary. I however will deny, deny, deny. Like a witness on the stand I will plead the fifth and provide numerous character witnesses to my ability to stomach lobster without the use of ketchup. I will admit these witnesses would be previous dates I was trying to impress accompanied by the wait staff I generously tipped while on those dates. That being said, my boys are ketchup addicts.

From the time my boys were each old enough to chow down on processed food my kids have discovered the delectable delight known as ketchup. If I would have let them my boys would have filled cereal bowls up with ketchup and eaten it by the spoonful. Even to this day my insane young men don't eat french fries. They just use those fries as shoveling mecahnisms to deliver mounds of ketchup into their bodies. If McDonalds had ever decided to charge its customers for ketchup by the packet I would be even more broke than I am right now.

Now imagine a fresh pile of ketchup next to the crispiest, saltiest, out of the oven McDonalds fries. Now imagine some insanely goofy kid taking two of those golden perfections of crispy fried potato bliss and skillfully scooping a glob of ketchup onto those fries and then sucking that ketchup off those fries without ever taking a bite. This process is then repeated until the fries have reached a limp status that no longer will stand up to or support the weight of its ketchup counter part. Those fries are then discarded and two new fries are then picked up and the shoveling resumes. This process is repeated until all of the fries are soaked into a state of saliva induced weakness and piled in a mush of potato mashed saliva....doomed to a demise inside of a plastic trash can instead of the pre-pubecent stomach lining they were meant for.

With my boys the entree of choice is completely irrelevant while the amount of ketchup on their plates seems to be the only concern of the evening. This is a pic of my youngest son enjoying my creamy garlic chicken and pasta....al la ketchup. I am so glad I do my best to cook dinners based on flavor and nutrition just so they can spruce those dishes up with good ole' fashioned ketchup.

This is my life.

This rDads life.

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Like father, like sons--heyyyyyyyyyy
written by Corazon, December 05, 2008

i love this entry... welcome to my ketchup club!!! our slogan: catch a ketchup... so, my dad will be so happy that i've got company !!!! woooo-hoooo !!!!

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