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Keeping in line with his Mummy style Stephen Sommers followed up the hugely popular The Mummy Returns with the action packed The Scorpion King.  And scored huge.  Incorporating the same stylistic action sequences, the great character chemistery and introducing the world to the acting prowess of 'The Rock' (Dwayne Johnson - can you smell what he is cooking?).  The Scorpion King certainly earned its way into this single dad's DVD collection.

The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor however was thrown against the creative pallet by the same two geniuses who brought the world such film classics as Herbie Fully Loaded, Shanghai Knights (Jackie Chan is so engaging) and Lethal Weapon 4 (this is the one which also has Jet Li – weird right?).  At least now I fully understand why the sexy Rachel Weisz decided to bow out of this Mummy movie and save her career the B Movie hangover.

Which leads me to the acting….oh, the terrible acting.  Chinese born Isabella Leong is horrific.  I know her lines weren’t dubbed in, but I swear throughout the entire movie her mouth and her voice were out of sync.  Every time she spoke it was as if she were somehow transported out of one of those old Channel 5 Kung Fu Theater flicks and into The Dragon Emperor.  She looked weirdly out of place, like an Egg Roll next to a Ham Sandwich.  And if Brendan Fraser is the best actor in a film you know the cast is made up of complete unknowns and ‘has beens’ (sorry Maria).  In China Isabella Leong may be a wonderful actress, but in The Mummy she gives a performance I thought only existed in old Sonny Cheeba movies and is now exclusively reserved in modern Hollywood for the likes of Jackie Chan.

Providing the films only true acting bright spot is Russell Wong.  Portraying the General who betrays the loyalty of The Dragon Emperor, Russell Wong clearly outshines his co-part Jet Li and proves why he is such a long standing actor in the Asian community.  I would have rather seen these actors switch roles.  Russell Wong may not carry the weight in Martial Arts flicks that Jet Li does, but his acting ability far outweighs the short lived fight scenes Jet Li was over paid for.  I know Jean Claude Van Damme is probably 200 hundred years old by now, but I am sure he can still act far better than Jet Li.  Come to think of it, I bet the two clowns who wrote The Dragon Emperor are already working on Universal Soldier 3.  Why not ruin another kick ass movie, right?

Can I just ask where the hell is Rachel Weisz?  She hasn’t been in anything mainstream lately.  I am sure by now she needs the money.  I know this screenplay sucked and I am sure she has had enough of Brendan Fraser, but the check was probably in the $5M range just to walk through this tragedy.  Why am I forced to watch Maria Bello?  Does anyone think Maria Bello is sexy?  Well, outside of her husband of course.  I saw Maria Bello get naked in the movie The Cooler and I have forever been turned off by her.  I am not saying she didn't play the role of a down trodded prostitute well.  Don't get me wrong.  Maria Bello plays a great white trash, low rent, hack prostitute who has run out of luck and is now attempting to find salvation at the bottom of a bottle of Strawberry Hill.  But, those are not the types of prostitutes I want in my Las Vegas fantasy.  In Leaving Las Vegas Elisabeth Shue's portrayal of an alcoholic yet needy prostitute made me want pack a bag and head to Vegas just so I could meet a blond haired, blue eyed hooker.  But, thanks to Maria Bello's pot bellied nakedness in The Cooler I am now planning a trip to Utah.  What a dream killer.

For months after watching the original Mummy and The Mummy Returns my head was filled with visions of Patricia Velazquez and Rachel Weisz in skimpy clothes and fighting one another with swords.  After watching The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor I am left with visions of Yeti, aka Abominable Snow Man, Maria Bello perpetrating the worst English accent I have ever heard, Isabella Leong babbling incoherently and Sonny Cheeba beating the hell out of Jet Li.  Any therapists out there want to take a stab at that one?