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So Tiger Woods is a confessed sex addict and the entire world is suddenly mesmerized by the fact that a young, rich, good looking, highly competitive, perfectionist and professional athlete has an intense sexual appetite. What else would you expect from a testosterone driven person who has been made to compete his entire life? Trust me, this cats’ instincts aren’t to sit on the couch in a cardigan while reading the paper. This cat only wants to hunt. The only question I will pose to the masses is simply this; when Tiger was in his late teens and on into his early twenties, before he became married did anyone even care how many women he slept with? In fact, based on modern societal classification wouldn’t Tiger be considered a stud for having tagged and bagged so many women?
The fact that a young, virile man with access to readily available “poon” at his beckon call doesn’t make the guy a sex addict, it simply makes him an opportunist. The reality is the average, healthy male thinks about sex every 23 seconds and has the ability to impregnate multiple partners per day. That is men were designed to do. Now put your average man on the PGA Tour where he spends more than 200+ days on the road and also make that man rich, famous, young and good looking and you have essentially given Snoop Dogg the keys to a medical marijuana facility. It is my belief that the addiction of “Sex” is something entirely created by women to continue to drive the male libido and male bravado even deeper into the grave marked “You Should Only Get Trophies For Actually Winning”. Only continuing to prove my belief that women have taken over our society and are continuing to sissify and castrate every man on the planet.
Athletes are naturally sexual beings. Truly athletic people have tremendous sex drives. They are competitive. They want to win. The game of seduction is a game where the art of domination is winning and sex is the reward. In the Beijing Olympics the athletes in the Olympic Village used more than 100,000 condoms and in the Athens Olympics they distributed 130,000 condoms to athletes. In a poll taken after the Beijing Olympics more than 57.4% of people polled agreed that Olympians had needs and those needs should not be repressed. Simply put, these athletes are finely tuned machines and they want to put their machines into action. If you think otherwise check the stats on the number of illegitimate children born to professional athletes in the NBA, NFL and MLB. The NBA leads all leagues in percentage of children born which I would directly attribute to their number of days on the road. Tiger Woods is no different.
Tiger is a finely tuned athlete who is nothing more than an opportunist. Women throw themselves at him every day and if exposed to that type of situation regularly there isn’t a single man on this planet who at one point during his time on the road wouldn’t find himself in a setting he would probably regret in the morning...married or not. Tiger Woods isn’t in trouble because he likes to have sex. Tiger Woods is in trouble because he had sex with women who weren’t his wife and he got caught. Every man in this world who is married or in a committed relationship commits the act of adultery in his mind on a regular basis. What most of those men don’t have that Tiger does is the opportunity to act out those fantasies with any woman of his choosing. Trust me, if the average man could walk into a strip club and just pick any woman like picking out puppies in a pet store, he would. The reality is, your average man can't do that, but Tiger can.
Tiger has the strength, speed and stamina and readily available targets to not only hunt and kill, but to do so repeatedly. Marriage only works for women because they are natural nesters. Men who live well in marriage are men who have given up (they are tired of the hunt), men who can’t get women (they sucked at hunting and probably spent a great deal of their adulthood living with their mothers) and men above the age of 70 who aren’t famous or rich (they are no longer equipped for the hunt or the kill). What Tiger needed to do was not be faithful, but what he needed to do what keep his "tricks" in check and not rub his strange in his wife’s face...ie. never give your booty call your real cell number dumbass.
I am sure Tiger loves his wife and he has proven that by getting on TV and making the “I just shit on the rug” face most puppies make before their spirits are completely broken and they are ultimately house trained. Sex rehab is Tiger’s wife’s version of house breaking her husband. If Sex Addiction were an actual addiction you wouldn’t still have sex after treatment. Meth addicts are allowed to smoke only joints after their detox and alcoholics aren’t just allowed to drink beer or wine after they have been weened off hard liquor.
Here are some great facts about Tigers that in many ways sound very much like Tiger:
- An adult Tiger is a solitary, territorial animal - sounds quite a lot like our boy T Woods and how he treats the media, his fellow golfers and also his wife.
- A male Tigers' territory can overlap several females territories - in our boy T Woods case I think the final overlap count hit about 13.
- Tigers like to feed on pig and buffalo - based a few pictures of the women Tiger took down I'm thinking he stayed pretty true to form. The waitress from Perkins was either a small buffalo or a very large pig.
- A male tiger can copulate up to six times per hour - going back to his number of partners I would say T Woods is right on track...how could poor Elin ever keep up?
- And the best one of all...if you shave a tigers fur from its body the tiger will still have stripes. Any takers on the over/under for the actuality of Tiger being sexually rehabilitated?
- Tigers also mark their territory by urinating on objects they consider their property - for now this sounds more like R. Kelly than Tiger, but the dirty details are still coming out...we shall see.
Hey Tiger, here’s some advice: Get a burn phone and don’t fuck fat, ugly Perkins waitresses who work at the restaurant down the street from your house! If you are going to stray at least do it with a woman who has as much to lose as you do and is hotter than your wife.....come on man!!
YOU HEARD ME!!!
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Jimmy went into a shop, took a toy tank, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.
So, the shopkeeper told ed hardy outlet him, "Excuse me, little boy,this isn't real money."Little Jimmy didn't reply, continuing walking out of the shop. The shopkeeper repeated himself, and Jimmy kept walking.
The third time the shopkeeper called Air Max him, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."